If I’ve ever asked anything of you, I ask you to read carefully and bear with me here. It’s gonna all come together by the end and I hope hit you like a ton of bricks.
Meet my father in law.
He was an incredible man with an infectious laugh. And he was stubborn and bullheaded and often times irrational. Probably why we got along so well!!
Unfortunately, he left this life too early about 2 years ago. Even more tragic than that, it was a self-imposed passing. One of those tragic irrational decisions. We don’t know why he did it. There was never an inkling of indication that he could do something like that. Probably rarely is.
What’s honestly worse than the mistake my father-in-law made is the wake of destruction he left behind. For two years, I’ve watched my wife struggle for answers in coping with the fact that her dad is gone so soon and in a senseless way. She walks through life with grace and beauty!!! I can only hope to be the human she is one day. It’s amazing and I am so proud of her.
But I also know what she has gone through. And then I don’t. She carries a burden that I will never understand. And I am her husband and should know these things right? Her best friends have even less understanding of what she feels on a daily basis than I do. They mean well and love her….but they can never understand how she is feeling at any given moment.
Suicide is extremely taboo in our society. And that’s unfortunate. It happens often. Too often. It happens to us and to people we know dearly. But we won’t talk about it and share how that feels. And because of that, those we encounter every day don’t know what we are going through. That sucks. We should share our scars. Scars are tattoos with better stories. And telling our stories and our experiences helps others get through theirs.
So what’s my point????? My point is this…I defend trucking companies and theirs drivers every day. The insurance guys out there get calls everyday that a client has been in an accident. We’re use to it. What we deal with everyday doesn’t seem to effect us too much. We’re conditioned and we forget what the other side experiences in these circumstances.
I had a client tell me once after an accident that the life of the company was riding on the back of any given driver when an accident happens. And this wasn’t a selfish comment…this was a very emotional comment that bothered him. He supports thousands of employees, and then their families on top of that. It is extremely emotional to him that the house of cards could tumble down on him and effect so many people. It matters to him.
In this industry, and in life in general, we should be sensitive to those that we encounter and not jaded in our approach. Don’t get me wrong…I’m not comparing a trucking accident and the emotions that a company feels to suicide. So don’t get bent out of shape in misconstruing my analogy here. I’ve lived the effects of suicide with my wife, so I’ve got a little street cred here making the analogy.
But next time you’re out of your bubble and amongst other people, remember that they are probably going through something. Maybe they’re struggling with scary thoughts they’re having. Maybe they are mourning the loss of a loved one in a tragic way. Maybe they’re involved in a lawsuit and their livelihood and the livelihood of tens, to hundreds to thousands of families may be riding on it.
Let’s make an effort to remember that everyone is going through something in their own way and we shouldn’t minimize and forget that just because we don’t understand it or are use to it.
People are dealing with some messed up shit everyday. It doesn’t matter if we don’t understand it or it wouldn’t be a big deal to us. It’s a big deal to them. Let’s respect that we all have big deals.